INDIANA THETA BROTHERS CONNECT ACROSS CULTURES

By Phil Mikos IU Indy ’12

As bright-eyed undergraduate students, we quickly discover the benefits of joining a fraternity. Being a part of a brotherhood of like-minded men, enjoying an energized social life, and having a robust alumni network to name a few. However, many of us do not consider where the fraternal relationships we build will take us. For Ashwin Jeyakrishnan IU Indy ’12, three other Indiana Theta brothers and myself, these bonds span halfway around the world. 

Ashwin spent most of his childhood in Mumbai, India, supported by a vast network of family and friends. As he completed his primary school education, he and his parents began gathering his options to continue his education at university. Weighing schools in India and abroad, they agreed Ashwin would journey to Indiana University Purdue University – Indianapolis (IUPUI), where he would pursue a degree in mechanical engineering through the Purdue School of Engineering and Technology. Though far from home, Ashwin worked hard and was proud of his accomplishments: “I received a great scholarship and a degree from a globally ranked top 15 engineering school!”  

While working together as resident assistants, Dile Wilson ’12 introduced Ashwin to Phi Psi and the rest of our “motley crew” – Tim Emmel ’12, Brandon Ball ’14, and me. “Through Dile, I became friends roughly 12 years ago with these brothers. I was drawn toward the camaraderie, similar to what I felt while in school in India,” reflected Ashwin.

We were a very tight-knit group and remained close even when living states apart at times following graduation. 

It was at IUPUI that Ashwin also met his future wife, Elaina, through mutual friends. “Phil, Brandon, Tim, and Dile aren’t just my brothers but are the nearest relationship to brothers Elaina has, having grown up in a house of four sisters!” 

After college, the couple focused on their careers. Now living in Columbus, Indiana, Elaina is a nurse practitioner at Columbus Regional Health, and Ashwin is a new product introduction manager at Cummins Inc. “I make a living, while she makes a difference with her role in health care.” 

While their career paths took off in the right direction, their wedding journey encountered several detours.  Ashwin and Elaina were legally married in 2019, but the wedding celebrations were postponed multiple times due to the pandemic. Once in-person gathering restrictions were lifted in 2021, Brandon, Dile, Phil, and Tim threw a party for Ashwin and Elaina at Laurel Hall (Phi Kappa Psi National Headquarters) to honor the couple. Ashwin recalls, “It was a great way for our local friends and family to celebrate our second anniversary with us!” 

In December 2023, the couple was finally able to host a proper celebration and our fraternal bond became the catalyst for an 8,000-mile trip to attend Ashwin and Elaina’s wedding celebration in India. Lasting nearly a month, the “motley crew” was spotted in Goa for a bachelor party, Coimbatore for the wedding celebration, and Kollam for post-wedding relaxation.

“I’m not sure there’s anyone else I’d travel halfway around the world for,” Dile admitted. “Ashwin’s friends showed us all their favorite local spots. We were in awe the whole time as we dove headfirst into the culture!”

Naturally, with a group of brothers, the bachelor party holds just as much (if not more) importance as the wedding itself. For these two groups of friends, that was undoubtedly true. The brothers from India and America rendezvoused with Ashwin, Elaina, and her family and friends in Goa to celebrate. While taking in the local sights, food, and nightlife, the group quickly became close, feeling like everyone had been long-time friends despite meeting miles away from home. “It was the first time I was able to have all my closest friends in one location. I am truly fortunate,” Ashwin said. From Goa, we traveled to Mumbai (Bombay) to meet Brandon and tour the 5th-century Hindu temple of the Elephanta Island Caves before preparing for the upcoming wedding festivities. 

With the wedding on the horizon, Coimbatore was the next destination, a city where Ashwin’s family has deep roots. His uncle serves as the village elder, and the family has maintained an ancestral home there going back five generations.

“Ashwin and his family went above and beyond to ensure we were comfortable, happy, and well-fed. We stayed with them for most of the trip and saw the culture embedded within their daily lives,” Brandon said.

Indian weddings are known to be elaborate affairs, and Ashwin and Elaina had planned two beautiful, action-packed days of celebration. In preparation, we were taken on a shopping trip for traditional wedding attire — kurtas, dhotis and pajama pants.

The first day featured the Mehendi ceremony, where the bride receives her henna patterns, symbolizing a blissful married life and relief from stress ahead of the final ceremony. All of us woke early on the second day to witness Ashwin and Elaina officially get married, an event everyone had greatly anticipated for years. That afternoon, the couple was presented with gifts and well wishes, followed by a traditional meal served on a banana leaf. 

After a final run-through of prepared dances, the final reception began. Guests enjoyed wonderful food, dances, and speeches, ending the night with Ashwin being thrown into the hotel pool. I’ve always heard that Indian weddings were a lot of fun, but this undoubtedly lived up to the hype!

Dile agreed the experience did not dissapoint. “The wedding extravaganza was amazing — the temple ceremony, wedding dances and traditional food — but getting our own Indian outfits was the cherry on top!”

The time in Coimbatore was wholesome and rich with tradition, religion, and family, but it was time to conclude our journey with a few days of reflection and relaxation in Kollam, Kerala.

My extended travels allowed me to see a wide spectrum of culture. India is a stunning country with an insane amount of history. The religious and cultural differences were evident, most states even having their own language. Brandon concurred, “Our opinion of national or cultural traditions in the United States pales in comparison to the centuries of rituals rooted deep within their daily lives still today.”

Ashwin and Elaina were delighted to have their family and friends together, crossing time zones and cultures. “It wouldn’t have been a complete celebration if they were not present.”

A decade ago, we would have never guessed the relationships we were building would immerse us in a different culture to celebrate the marriage of two of our closest friends. Although we each have our own takeaways from the journey, we all agreed with Dile: The graciousness displayed by Ashwin’s family made them the MVPs. “The trip would have been an unbelievable experience on its own, but with the hospitality shown and the company we shared, it was a trip we’ll always cherish as one of the best times of our lives.”